Farewell, Uncle Wells

At the finale of my time as a Wells Fargo teller, I’ve compiled a list of quotations that were gathered at work the past year and a half at the bank. Most are from coworkers, but there are an occasional few from customers. All have been mostly stripped of their context for humor and brevity. In no way do these embody my entire experience there–one complete with joys, surprises, stress, friendship, disappointment, and learning. Nor are these all the quotes I wanted to capture, but hey.. you can only do so much while helping lines of people achieve their financial goals. Here you go (in order of date, where certain):


“Pacific Northern | Soul Owner” –(deposit stamp on the back of business checks)

“Oops, I did it again” –(Post-it on business deposit)

“Fifty dollas” –(written dollar amount on a check from guy in his 60s—didn’t realize he was a gangster)

“What’s 8 times 4? 64?” –Malee 11/27/09

“Oh, duh. 4 times 4 is 16, not 14.” –Albe 11/27/09

“It’s a good thing I called, because they thought I wanted my sandwich toasted 4 times” –Mathew 12/11/09

“This is bulletproof, but couldn’t you just keep pounding it with a chair?” –BamBam 12/11/09

“I look forward to seeing your next outfit!” –middle-aged female customer 1/21/10

“I’ve got too much going on now.” –Yvonne 1/25/10

“I look like a roll of toilet paper.” –Allyssa 3/11/10

“Gosh, I need to get the batteries replaced on my wrist!” –Yvonne 3/16/10

“I get like that, too, if I eat fruit loops.” –Renauld 3/22/10

“I really want to slap your ponytail right now.  I don’t know why.” –Mathew 4/10/10

“Drag me to Hell.” –(On a customer’s hat) 4/16/10

“There’s a lady outside refinancing her house on the ATM—I just need some cash.” –[Customer] 5/28/10

“Every business needs a checkup.  Dr. Beenk’s in the office today!” –Allyssa 6/11/10

“I think I want my sole back.” –Allyssa, 6/15/10

[if the Lakers lose] “it would shatter my confidence—I would start thinking what’s left is right and what’s right is left.” –Mathew 6/17/10

“It’s not in English; the only part I can read is ‘Madrid.’” –Mathew 6/22/10

“ABC—Allyssa, Chelsea, Brian!” –Allyssa 6/25/10

“I want a chocolate lab to go on a date with a poodle; then a stork comes.. and bam! Labradoodle!” –Mathew 6/25/10

“I love the environment.  The environment in Queen Anne is awesome, and I’d prefer it not to change.” –Mathew 6/30/10

“List of things I’m not gonna do at work: ‘see where it goes.’” –Mathew 8/05/10

“This whole internet thing… it’s a fad.” –Mathew, 9/8/10

“Give her some kids, quick!” –Mathew 9/15/10

“Well, you look wonderful today” –middle-aged man (Last Day 12/31/10)


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